“Try, try again…”
“Dust yourself off and start all over again…”
“Get right back on that horse…”
These are just some of the common phrases we use to support the idea of jumping into another relationship to eliminate painful emotions as a result of a breakup. Although you may try meeting someone else to help with transition, there is something to be said about spending time alone after a breakup.
When you’ve ended a marriage or relationship, you may feel pressure to put yourself back out there in the dating game to make sure you still have ‘it’. Here are some reasons why it’s best to stay single for a while:
You Need to Process
The more intense the relationship, the more time you will need need to emotionally process. Dating is a great distraction from dealing with your hurt feelings which places you in in a position to bypass the emotional processing stage. It’s important to process all of your emotions regarding the relationship and the breakup. Ignoring your feelings places you in a position where they can manifest when you least expect them to seep out.
You Need to Learn
Every heartbreak in life is an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. Now is the time for you to think about what went wrong in the relationship and why? What part did you play in the demise of your relationship? What could you have done better? How will you choose your next partner based on your experiences? What will you avoid next time when selecting your next partner?
Failure to truly understand your relationship history will only cause you to make the same mistakes in the future.
You Need to Grow
You can either bring an excessive amount of emotional baggage into your next relationship, or you can bring a new version of you that is whole, healthy and vital. Now is the time to nurture yourself and pursue what you are passionate about. What hobbies have you been ignoring because of being in a relationship? Have you been wanting to travel the world? Learn a new language? The more time you spend developing your personal and professional growth experiences, the more you will have to offer that next Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Breakups are never easy, but they are often a part of life. The key to healing is to not rush into the next relationship but take some time to reflect on the one that just ended. It is imperative to deal with your emotions and heal from your breakup. You will experience going through the grief and loss process which consists of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and eventually Acceptance.
If you have experienced a recent breakup and are struggling with being comfortable with your personal growth journey, give Personal Enrichment Counseling & Consulting Services a call today.
We can help you have the best relationship of all and that is the relationship you have with yourself.